My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
