My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
