Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
