Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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