There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize