I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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