apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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