this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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