we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
