I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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