I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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