I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
