i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
