so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
