so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Did I show you my penis last night?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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