There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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