I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
