Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
