This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ugly people sure do ruin things
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
