Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ugly people sure do ruin things
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
