yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
