he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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