i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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