She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
