whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
