none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
