this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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