we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Randomize
