Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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