I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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