I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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