Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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