If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize