you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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