It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
