can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I can text with my tongue
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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