There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize