apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
