Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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