how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
