Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
