Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
