my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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