my vag is so smooth its legendary
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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