I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
