I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
