when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
