If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
