Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.

Fav 2 1115 755
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(802): View more from Vermont

my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...

Fav 14 6070 1510
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(703): View more from Virginia

yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.

Fav 32 4160 2003
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.

Fav 19 3041 994
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(602): View more from Arizona

I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.

Fav 11 1145 1414
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off

Fav 2 1137 715
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(619): View more from California

Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.

Fav 1 1251 1064
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(816): View more from Missouri

I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.

Fav 1 265 174
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(406): View more from Montana

all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.

Fav 2 51 7
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