you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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