that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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