it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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