Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize