Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
