My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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