Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
