just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
