Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
