dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
