just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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