Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
