no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
