Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
