omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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